Making spaghetti bridges leads to suicide?

I don't know if this is a national torture, or if it is just restricted to Houston, but I firmly believe there is a direct correlation between suicides and having to make these satanic spaghetti bridges for physics. I might not ever be able to stomach pasta again after this. I have probably invested...7 hours in this project so far, and we are still not done.

The only thing that made the horrid task more tolerable was working with Hiliary. She truly is a delightful little person. She is just one of those people, that you can't not like. Ever since I've tried to get closer to God, her and Hannah have sort of been my spirtiual advisors. They're not the kind of people who shove God down your throat, or make you feel bad for poor decisions. They're really unbelievably understanding actually.

So while we were taking on the menial task of cutting spaghetti to 4cm pieces...(just imagine for a moment) I started telling her about my current delimma. Which is: I want to be closer to God, and live a more Godly life, but I can't do that while maintaining my current group of friends. I'm sure some of you have felt like this. Maybe not to the same extent as I'm experiencing, but similiar. When I was in D.A.R.E in 5th grade, they talked about peer pressure. Which I feel is a really exxagerated way to say peer influence. My friends have never PRESSURED me into trying something. If anything, I think it's more of the "if your friends jump off a bridge are you going to jump too" expression. But even expression is misleading. It would be more appropraite if it was like

"If your friends got dressed up in super cool bathings suites and threw a huge party, and the main attraction was jumping off a bridge onto a trampoline and bouncing into water, where some of the more reckless friends who tried to hard to look cool by doing wild tricks died, but all your close friends less extreme friends were fine..would you do it?" Hell yeah you would!

You justify other peoples downfalls, or in this senario injuries or possible death (both apply really), by saying, "oh they were reckless and stupid". Meanwhile, you see plenty of friends jumping off the bridge perfectly fine. It's not that your friends are encouraging you to jump off the bridge, but who wants to be standing alone on it, while the rest of your friends are having fun? This all goes back to my current delimma. How do I keep my feet planted on the bridge, while my friends are having a blast jumping off of it. Not only that, but their confused as to why I suddenly decided to stop joining them. As I was explaining all of this to Hiliary, she asked a truely profound question, that I couldn't answer.

"Look, you could be a christian at any time of your life. I mean being a christian now, and being a christian after college, and being a christian when your married is all the same. But why do you think you suddenly felt God reaching out to you now, as opposed to later?"

I don't know the answer yet. But it will definitely something I'm chew over, since I will not be eating spaghetti anytime soon ;)

Intro: How did I get here?

What drove me to make a blog? Well behind most ideas I’ve had, is a powerful black woman who goes by the name of Oprah. I don’t know, you might have heard of her? lol (pardon my occasional usage of internet lingo, for any of you who might be confused... it means laugh out loud.) Anyway one time on the Ophra show they had this lady who blogged about her life with children, and another time they had this homeless girl who blogged about her life being homeless. I’m not doing this in hopes that one day I too will be featured on the Ophra show. Honestly I’m just looking for a place to get everything off my chest. I have two (what I consider) talents. My mom would say that my biggest talent and fault is my excessive talking. I vividly recall when I was younger her telling me that, “I don’t really have to worry about anyone kidnapping you sweetie. Five minutes in the car with you, and they would bring you back” My other is writing. I don’t know if I’m necessarily a good writer. But I like doing it. It’s really therapeutic for me. So here I am talking and writing all at once, in what I consider one of my life’s largest crossroads.

Why am seeking God? So here is a little inside, to the person behind the blog. I should have started this blog the day I went to my first bible study. But the idea didn’t hit me till last night. So I’m bringing you in at the 3rd week of my journey. What made me want to discover God? Funny story (actually it’s not funny at all) at the beginning of this year, I almost got into a lot of trouble. Try 7 felonies worth of trouble. Now before you scurry your mouse to the top right of this screen to immediately X out the blog of this juvenile delinquent, let me just explain. First of all, I am the complete opposite of a juvenile delinquent. I am on the Debate team and Newspaper staff. I am in Key club, National Honor Society, and Quill and Scroll (which is a honor society for journalism). I am also in all upper level classes, and two advanced placement classes. Second of all, I was only tied to two of the felonies. The rest came from the girl’s car I was riding in. I had no idea of all the stuff she had. I didn’t even know half the stuff she had resulted in felonies. But since I was in her car…how does the saying go? Mi felony es tu felony? Anyway, as I sat in the back of the cop car, handcuffed and crying, I prayed to God. “God just please get my out of this. Please I will do anything. I will devote my life to you, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” If I would have been charged with just ONE felony I would have gone to ALC (alternative Learning Center) and lost every upper level and advanced placement class and I would have been kicked out of every club and organization I was in. As I sat there praying I could hear my mom’s voice saying “You have to be careful, you have a lot more to lose than the rest of your friends”. So this is what she was talking about huh?

By the grace of God (never did the saying make more sense than in my situation) I walked away from the entire scene scot free. I also walked away knowing that God held up his side of the bargain, and I was going to have to follow through with mine.
Until this incident I prided myself on having a life, and doing well in school. I thought I had it all good grades and a “cool” group of friends. I was always the life of the party. I drank and smoked without causing drama or opening my legs to any guys. My guy friends respected me, and my girl friends confided in me. Everyone loved me because I was always down to party. I honestly thought there was nothing wrong with the way I was living. After I got in trouble though I began to see that there was something wrong with how I was living. There was a lot of things wrong.

The Prelude

I honestly don't know percisely why I'm doing this. This is completly, yet not totally out of my element. I'm not stranger to the internet. You could find me on Myspace, Facebook, or Twitter if you so chose to stalk to me. However, opening myself up spiritually to complete strangers, is definitely foreign territory to me. I don't want you to mistake this blog for something it isn't. By no means do I claim to know everything about god, faith or religion. In fact on the contrary I'm claiming the complete opposite. I will be the first to admit, that I know nothing on the matter. This blog is my serves as a place I can organize my thoughts as I take the journey to discovering God. So whether you chose to take this journey with me, to perhaps discover god in your own life, or to learn from the trials of a teenage girl, or even to help guide me throughout my quest, is entirely up to you. Who knows, no one may ever read this. Im just talking like I have an audience because it makes me feel like im venting to someone. I would not be offended by any means if you decided not to read the rantings of a hormonal teenage girl. I'd actually be sympathetic. So I guess you can consider this the prelude to my Chronicles of Christianity. Enjoy...or don't. Haha like I said, it's up to you.